


Shopping Shenanigans

by CynicalGamer



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, In which Sans shouldn't be allowed in a grocery store, Other, Reader has no defined gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalGamer/pseuds/CynicalGamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternative Title: Everything that can go wrong in a grocery store does</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shopping Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Some more commission work  
> Shout out to my friend Golly for helping me come up with ideas for this, she is best

“Alright, Sans, you push the cart.”

“What? I thought I was just here cause you were bonely.” He teased you, hands still shoved in his pockets. You rolled your eyes at your skeleton boyfriend and unfolded the list you had brought. It was grocery shopping day and this time, Sans decided to tag along. It was a good thing he was cute, because he sure as heck wasn’t that useful if he refused to do anything.

“Yeah, well you’re here for both things now.” You could win this game, you were sure of that. The both of you had a stare off, with Sans smirking, and you raising your eyebrows expectantly. “Besides, I have to look at the list.”

“I’ll hold the list.” He extended out a hand, but you didn’t budge.

“Oh no. No way.” You were laughing as you denied him.

“And why not?”

“Cause you’ll put something weird down that we don’t need. Like LAST time.” Sans looked uneasy at your accusation, but grinned all the same.

“How was I supposed to know we didn’t have a dog?”

With another roll of the eyes and a snort, you handed the list to him and got a cart. With no further arguing, you went inside the store with the skeleton close beside you. It was a Thursday afternoon, so the aisles were rather clear of people.

“Alright, let’s go aisle by aisle. Just makes it easier.” You offered up, immediately heading left towards the bread. Sans hummed in agreement, shuffling to be a bit closer to you. The bonehead was always more affectionate than he led on to be and you always enjoyed his closeness.

As you arrived to the bread, you looked around for your favorite brand, but it seemed it was nowhere in sight. You crossed your arms over your chest and tilted your head as your eyes scanned the variety in front of you. Sans walked up behind you and wrapped an arm lazily around you.

“Not finding it, babe?” He asked you simply. You sighed with disappointment.

“Yeah… it looks like they might have reorganized.” You suggested. Sans began to look, too, until he suddenly chuckled and pointed up at the very highest shelf. You squinted your eyes and sure enough, there it was. Higher than seven feet, that was for sure. “Nice find. So, uh… how do I get it?” You began to reach up on your tippy toes, but still you couldn’t make it.

“Here. I’ll give you a… lift.” Sans’ left eye glowed and all of a sudden, you were raised up off the ground enough that you could grab the bread. With a decisive grasp, you secured the goods.

“Okay you can, uh… let me down now.” At your words, Sans altogether stopped holding you up and you fell only a foot, but still somehow managed to be caught in the skeleton’s arms.

“I see you’re not done falling for me yet, huh?” Sans was smirking, all too proud of his pun. You snorted again, nuzzling his face.

“Dork. Don’t drop me like that ever again, though.”

“Hey, I’ll always be here to catch you.” Your stomach flopped slightly and you couldn’t help but chuckle. Finally, Sans let you down and you tucked the bread away into the cart. The next few items went without incident, aside from Sans trying to buy more hotdogs, since you already had 3 packages at home. Or in his words ‘only’ had 3 packages at home. Still, you managed to pull him away on to the next thing.

At some point in the snack aisle, you went to look at pretzels when Sans got out of sight. After deciding on the mini pretzel sticks, you turned to return to the cart. Of course it was never that simple.

“Sans, you can’t just eat that!” You exclaimed as you noticed he was snacking on some cheetos in the middle of the store. He looked at you with dull confusion.

“Whaddya mean?” He prompted, cheese dust flying from his face. Attractive.

“I mean you have to pay for it!” You elaborated.

“I’m going to.”

“No, you pay for it before you eat it.” You insisted with a bewildered expression. It was apparent that Sans still had a lot to learn about human rules and expectations.

“Why? Sounds dumb.” You groaned at his response and gave up, seeing as he had already finished half the bag. At least he understood he had to pay, so that was something. Still, he could be rather difficult on occasion.

“What’s next?” You asked, defeated. Sans frowned, catching up with you as you headed out of the aisle.

“Sorry… I didn’t know.” He apologized in a quiet voice, placing his right hand over yours on the handle of the cart. You paused for a moment with a sigh.

“It’s fine. I forget how new to the surface you are sometimes.” You adjusted your hand so that your fingers were then intertwined. “I do appreciate that you came with me today.” Your voice was now as small as his had been.

“It was either this or watching Papyrus and Undyne play Monopoly.” He tried to brush off the sentiment, but you knew he was doing it for you, not avoid other things. You leaned forward and kissed the top of his head before starting off again towards the next thing on your list.

It was at least a solid five minutes before the next incident. As you picked out the right size of tortilla for Taco Tuesday, you suddenly heard your name being called. You turned around to see an empty cart (Sans must have snatched it up from outside) zooming by at an unreasonable speed with the skeleton in question hanging off the back. There was a crash you couldn’t see, but certainly heard.

This was why you didn’t bring him shopping. He was actually pretty close to Papyrus in childishness levels, but only when his brother wasn’t around. And only when he was bored. You reluctantly turned around the corner to find your significant other on the ground with the fallen over cart and about fifty cans rolling around. It was like something out of a cartoon and you couldn’t help but laugh at him. Sans rubbed at his head and looked up at you with a big ol grin. He always liked to make you laugh.

Walking over, you extended your hand and helped him up.

“Alright, nerd, you’re officially not allowed in stores anymore. Now help me clean this up.”

“I am not a nerd. That’s you.” With a snap of his fingers, Sans magically set all of the cans back up in a somewhat neat stack. He never did anything perfect. Still, it was better than leaving it for some poor worker to have to clean up.

“Come on, nerd.” You shook your head and returned to the mission at hand. Of course that meant you only had a few things left on the list. They were going to take the longest, however.

As soon as you had entered the condiment aisle, Sans was gone from your side, staring intensely at his drink of choice: ketchup. That was where the catch (pun intended) came in.

“You still haven’t like, gotten a favorite brand yet?” You asked, standing behind the kneeling skeleton.

“Clearly you have no taste buds, dear. Each ketchup is different and some meals call for a specific kind.” He waggled a finger at you. If he had hair, you would have ruffled it. But he didn’t since he was a skeleton and all. Obviously.

You watched as he would pick up a bottle, turn it around to read the ingredients and nutrition facts, then shake it a little bit before setting it back down. Every time he reached for a new bottle, you grew a little more hopeful that it’d be done and over with. Alas, though, he took his sweet time.

“Sans, I’m sure whatever you got last time will work just fine.”

“Just lemme… lemme look a little more.” He picked up another bottle and squinted at it in concentration. “Nah.” And returned it to the shelf. You sighed, knowing he had the list and you couldn’t recall what you needed half the time. So instead, you had to wait. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Sans chose his ketchup of choice and gently set it down in the cart. You shook your head and kissed his forehead before heading off to the next obstacle. Spaghetti.

Sans and Papyrus were obviously very close, so even with Sans’ laziness taken into account, he still put just as much effort into choosing the right noodles as he did with his ketchup.

“Sooo… what are we looking at?” You asked gripping Sans’ hand in your own.

“Paps said he liked the length and thickness… but not the taste.” Sans explained with a thoughtful gaze.

“So, different brand? Same noodle style?”

“Yup.” He casually reached forward, examining the kind you had previously purchased for Papyrus. Again, Sans looked at the ingredients of each and every box, carefully committing them to memory. When he came to the last one, however, it seemed he forgot what he was doing and muttered an apology as he repeated the motions all over again. It was sweet to see how much work he could manage for something that made his brother happy, but at the same time, there was only so many social media sites to look at while you waited.

Eventually, as with anything, the search came to an end and Sans ended up purchasing three different type ‘just to be sure’. You had a feeling Papyrus would hate them all, but not have the heart to say it outright. You’d one day order him that new pasta maker he wanted so badly.

With everything shoved in your cart (including that half-eaten bag of cheetos) you made your way to the cash register. Of course, there was only one non-express lane open and it was moving at a snail’s pace. So you had to stand around and wait some more with Sans, who was lazily scanning the magazines.

“Who cares how much weight they lost? You humans sure are weird, obsessing over these celebrities.”

“Yeah? And monsters don’t completely obsess over Metatton?” You brought up with a satisfied smirk.

“Well I didn’t.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Gotcha. Understood.”

“Nerd,” He always said it with such overwhelming affection that it warmed your heart to its core. “You use way too many affirmatives.”

“Come on, we’re next, cute stuff.” You pushed the cart forward and carefully emptied its contents on the conveyor belt. As expected, it went slow as all hell, taking another fifteen minutes before you managed to even pay. And, also as expected, the half eaten cheetos earned you an odd look from the cashier. You simply ignored it however, but wanted to snicker. After all of the groceries were bagged and shoved in your car, you and Sans began the drive home.

“Like I said, you’re not allowed to come shopping in more.” You insisted, but with a teasing tone to it. Sans ‘tsked’ you with a shake of the head.

“That’s not very nice of you to say, sweetheart. You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

“Sorry, but it’s the truth. Even Papyrus doesn’t cause this much trouble.”

“Oooh. Ouch. Low blow. You’re getting too real for these old bones.” Sans pretended to be hurt, even adding fake coughing for affect.

“Dork.”

“Nerd.” He shot back immediately. “But you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Guess I do.” As you pulled into the driveway and went to remove the bags from the back of the car, you made quite the realization. With a heavy sigh, you gently pushed aside a few bags and noted something that was, again, definitely not on your grocery list. “Sans! We don’t have a dog!!! Stop buying dog food!”

At that rate, you probably should’ve bought the dog, just to get rid of all the bags you had acquired over the trips.

But Sans wouldn’t be trusted with it.


End file.
